


my own wings were not enough for this

by 7pt



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Gen, Implied Zack/Aerith, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Introspection, M/M, Memories, Unrequited Love, depression!cloud hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-05-14 04:50:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19266211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7pt/pseuds/7pt
Summary: “Sometimes I dream of you. And it feels real—your voice, your face. But when I wake up, those memories slip through my fingers like water. Or blood—I can’t tell anymore. I’m scared that one day, I’ll forget you for real.”





	my own wings were not enough for this

**Author's Note:**

> post-ff7, pre-ac, i guess  
> zack's thoughts are in italics in case that wasn't clear

To a mere passerby, the abandoned church was a silent enigma. Always quiet, but at times, rather frightening. But for any who dared to venture through the creaky wooden doors, to stand among those blossoms of ivory and sunshine and tiles of cracked concrete, they would hear soundless bursts of tinkling laughter. Unhurried footsteps, as if someone—more than one person?—was strolling along the aisles and broken pews, leaving only swirls and eddies of sparkling dust in the light. They were invisible to the eye, of course, but they brought with their presence a gentle aura of contentment, though ever so slightly tinged with the salty-sour taste of another’s regret and broken promises.

The dust settled.

—

Though Zack Fair could not see him, nor truly feel his presence, Cloud’s voice was a cool downpour of  _ living _ through the dense fog of the Lifestream. But even then, the glass of death separated them.

“Zack.”

His voice was coarse and stained with a hint of profound sadness, like he had been sobbing not five minutes earlier and didn’t try hard enough to hide it.

_ Cloud? I’m here _ .  _ Can you hear me? _

“Zack. I’m...” he paused, “Sorry.”

_ Why are you apologising, Cloud? Aerith says hello, by the way. _

“I’m sorry for a lot of things. But most of all, I’m sorry I did the only thing I promised myself I wouldn’t do—forget you.”

_ Aw, Cloudy, don’t feel bad. I don’t blame you.  _ Zack would have grinned.

Cloud took a deep, stuttering breath. “You know…”

_ Take your time, I’m in no hurry. I’ve got all day. All the days, actually. Every day, if you need. _

“When I saw that hot, bitter blood—your blood—covering my palms, my face, and that uniform… I thought—I really believed… that I had been the one who had taken your life.”

_ Oh. _

“And, in a way, I did take your life.” He was quieter now, only barely whispering. “I took your past, your achievements, your  _ life, _ and called it mine. No, I wasn’t your living legacy. I was the one who tried to erase you.”

_ … I didn’t know… _

“And shit, maybe it’s stupid, standing here in a dilapidated church, talking to an old sword and pretending my best friend was still here. Maybe you’ll never hear what I’m saying. Maybe you’re off somewhere with Aerith. And that’s fine. I wouldn’t sit here on these dusty steps and listen to myself cry either.”

Zack wished more than anything that he could reach out to that soft, doleful voice and hold it warm against his heart. 

“I’m scared, Zack,” Cloud laughed hollowly, voice cracking. “Sometimes I dream of you. And it feels real—your voice, your face. But when I wake up, those memories slip through my fingers like water. Or blood—I can’t tell anymore. I’m scared that one day, I’ll forget you for real.”

_ Don’t be scared. That won’t happen for a long, long time. And trust me, I won’t mind. Really.  _

“They tell me to move on, but… how can I move on when the sound of your voice fades more and more from my mind with every passing day?”

_ Cloud…  _

“I dread the day when my only memory of your smile is ink on a glossy card. When your name means nothing more than the name of a stranger. And... I can feel that day coming. But until then, I’ll try my best.”

“I loved you. Perhaps I still do. And I’m sorry for that.”

_ I loved you too. I know I still do. I’m not sorry for that. _

Cloud didn’t speak again for a long while, leaving Zack to mull over his words.

At last, he murmured, “If I ever end up disappearing, know that I’m okay. Or maybe I’ll come see you and Aerith soon. Who knows?” Zack could hear a sad smile under his voice.

_ Go on, my Cloud. Live on.  _

—

And once again, the church was filled with silence, and love.

**Author's Note:**

> im hurt  
> title from dante's divine comedy


End file.
